As we near the end of the year, there's a lot to sit back and think about. It's usually the time when everyone thinks about what they're going to do differently next year, what their resolutions will be, and what were the highest points of their previous year.
Highlights - by order of appearance
1. House being completed before baby was born.
2. Baby being born.
3. Turning 30.
4. Getting mostly settled, mostly organized, and mostly level.
5. Being able to spend time with my children.
Lowlights - by order of appearance
1. Yet another major abdominal surgery due to a stubborn little baby being breech, followed by 10 days of absolute agony because of a lovely gastro bug I picked up either while in surgery or in the hospital in general.
2. The terrible feeling of not being in control of myself - aka post-partum depression.
3. Mr. M getting so sick for such a tiny human.
4. Money. By god, money is the root of all our absolute shitty fights.
5. Realizing how few close friends I have, and how hard it is to make more.
What are my resolutions for next year? To be better in general. A better mother, a better wife, a better person to myself. If nothing else, I just want to be content.
I did one round of 21 day fix from December 1 - 22. I lost 3 lbs and 19.5 inches, which is a huge motivation for me to do more. I want to be able to keep up with my kids this summer, even if Mr. M is going to have extremely limited outside time because of his antibiotics.
Another thing I'm reflecting on is me. Who am I? Who do I want to be? At 30 years old, I feel like I should have the answers to these questions, and I really don't.
So small goal will be to figure out my place. I'll be home for at least another year, possibly more, depending on when Mr. M's surgery is and how we fare financially. But I'd like to find my place beyond that. Determine who Paige is underneath the layers of blond hair, boobs, and Frappucino's. And hopefully once I get down to the base level, I can build it up stronger and better than before.
