It's like a light switch hit me. Once I turned 30 - which was only 11 days ago - I stopped caring about the insignificant people. What I mean by that is that the people who have no impact in my life. I am stopping trying to please people who really don't want to try to please me, and I'm stopping trying to force friendships where they obviously don't want to belong.
I spent pretty much all of Saturday with a dear friend who I rarely see because a) she's a medical resident and b) she lives out of town. Yes, she still comes home to visit but her time is usually booked right up. We spent the day eating a horrible lunch at Milestones - seriously, don't eat there. Everything was awful - then watching a shitty movie at the VIP theatre. I don't even want to admit what movie we watched. As my friend was driving me home after, she says "Don't go home yet" I asked her to repeat what she said and she was like "Don't have to go home yet. Come play board games or something, just don't be home yet". Of course, because I had left T and the kids at home all day there was no way I would do that and she completely and totally understood, but it felt just so fucking amazing to have someone who really, truly, wanted to spend time with me. A LOT of time.
So now, as a grown up, I have finally realized that the people who don't treat me like this... the ones who aren't sad when we can't spend time together... are not worth my time. And they can just get bent.
Medication update: as per Wednesday's appointment with the doctor, we're increasing the dose to 50mg from 25mg. To start, I'll just be taking two 25mg pills so that if it doesn't work for me then we can go back down to 25 without it being a big deal. Thus far, adding the extra pill makes me hella sleepy right after I take it which is why I take them at night. I'm okay with this side effect because it has me going to bed at a normal time, and I can fortunately still wake up easily enough.
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